By: Payton M. Ishmael
Panic. Despair. Confusion. Seeking answers. Longing for guidance. Begging for direction. Bowed before the King, impatiently looking to Him for the next step. “Now what, God? Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to say? Who do you want me to be? Which do you want me to choose? When do you want me to proceed? Why me? Why this?”
I’ve spent the last couple of months rekindle a relationship of intimacy with my King; Learning to let go of things that don’t matter, and instead fixing my attention on things with eternal value. The paragraph above paints a picture of my previous prayer life. I was an emotional basket case who feared the unknown and spent every moment of prayer seeking, “what’s next?”
Then something began to stir within me. My prayers ceased coming from my mind just as yellow ‘under construction’ tape wrapped itself around my heart. Now, as the Lord works on my heart, he has given my soul peace. I simply want to bask in His presence. I don’t need to know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I still want the Lord’s guidance and I wish it was easier for me to listen and heed his direction. However, knowing the ‘next step’ is no longer the primary meditation of my heart.
Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God.” Wow! What a joy to take delight in simply knowing that God is in control. It doesn’t matter what the next minute of the day brings. For so long, my prayer has been a one way street. I talk and talk and talk and talk. Rarely do I take the time to listen, and never have I made a habit of enjoying being in His presence.
One of my closest girlfriends and I joke that we know we know we’ve become great friends because we can sit outsides, each reading books; never talking but spending time together nonetheless. Now that I simply spend the time to ‘be still and know…’ I’ve seen more progress in my relationship with Christ than I ever did when it was one-way communication. “Prayer requires more of the heart than the tongue.” –Adam Clarke
Panic. Despair. Confusion. Seeking answers. Longing for guidance. Begging for direction. Bowed before the King, impatiently looking to Him for the next step. “Now what, God? Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to say? Who do you want me to be? Which do you want me to choose? When do you want me to proceed? Why me? Why this?”
I’ve spent the last couple of months rekindle a relationship of intimacy with my King; Learning to let go of things that don’t matter, and instead fixing my attention on things with eternal value. The paragraph above paints a picture of my previous prayer life. I was an emotional basket case who feared the unknown and spent every moment of prayer seeking, “what’s next?”
Then something began to stir within me. My prayers ceased coming from my mind just as yellow ‘under construction’ tape wrapped itself around my heart. Now, as the Lord works on my heart, he has given my soul peace. I simply want to bask in His presence. I don’t need to know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I still want the Lord’s guidance and I wish it was easier for me to listen and heed his direction. However, knowing the ‘next step’ is no longer the primary meditation of my heart.
Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God.” Wow! What a joy to take delight in simply knowing that God is in control. It doesn’t matter what the next minute of the day brings. For so long, my prayer has been a one way street. I talk and talk and talk and talk. Rarely do I take the time to listen, and never have I made a habit of enjoying being in His presence.
One of my closest girlfriends and I joke that we know we know we’ve become great friends because we can sit outsides, each reading books; never talking but spending time together nonetheless. Now that I simply spend the time to ‘be still and know…’ I’ve seen more progress in my relationship with Christ than I ever did when it was one-way communication. “Prayer requires more of the heart than the tongue.” –Adam Clarke
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